Uncertainty

I know who I am.  I know what uniform I’ve put on for every day of spring training.  It has my name on the back.  Every jersey I have worn since I was eight has said “ROSE” on the back (before that, it was “RYAN R.” to differentiate me from the other kids named Ryan).  There have been a lot of names on the front though.  Hammers when I wass eight for Andy’s Hardware.  Buckeyes when I was in college.  Nights when I first started playing professionally.  And Nightmares when I first made it to The Show.  Today was the last day of spring training.  I wore my Catfish uniform.

Will I wear the Florida Catfish over my heart when Opening Day comes around?  I honestly do not know.  I have discussed trades with my manager and I have told him I’d stay here.  He has given me permission to speak with other teams.  And I have, to some extent.  I’m not naming names because that’s not the important part.   The important part is I would play for any of these guys…at least the ones who contacted me.  There are a few others I’d play for as well, but I haven’t heard from any of them.  I figure that’s because I haven’t been “shopped” there.  I also haven’t gone around initiating contact with every GM in the league or anything.  Like I said at the beginning, I’m content to stay.

I just want my GM to make up his mind as to what he’s doing.  If he’s hanging onto me till July, then say so. If I’m here tlll my contract is up, let me plan for it.  If he’s trading me tomorrow, then get it done.  The uncertainty is, well, uncertain.  I want to know, that’s all.

I guess it’s like the rest of life though.  When you wake up, chances are pretty good that you’ll be able to tuck yourself in at the end of the day.  For millions of people, that doesn’t happen though.  Everything from car accidents to drowning to drugs to being hit by lightning.  I suppose, in a way, it’s petty of me to worry about who I’ll be working for come opening day.  I should be grateful that I’m around and in good physical shape to play.   I need to be ready to give my team (whatever team that is) and my fans the best I can give.  Not just in the first game of the season, but in every game.

I know who I am.  And that should be enough.

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